Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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