You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
