And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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