I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
