My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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