Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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