Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
