I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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