My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize