What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
