Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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