Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
