when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
