wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
