I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
