look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
