I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
