so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
