I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
