But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
