I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
