..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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