I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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