Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
