You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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