We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize