A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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