Ambien. No doubt about it.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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