i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
