I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You dont lie about slip and slides
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
