Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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