I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
