So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize