I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
