I wannas sexs uuuuu
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
