she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
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I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
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Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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