Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
