mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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