the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
