he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
