IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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