Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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