I just threw up on my dentist
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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