fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
