in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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