You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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