And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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