If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
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If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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