Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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