I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
