Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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