So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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