apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
