there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
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benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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