I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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