I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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